Gay men topping for the first time

1️⃣ It’s not porn. Relax, have fun and be present, and It’s okay to be nervous. The aim is connection, intimacy and mutual pleasure, not pounding or breeding. Talking, laughter & cute moments help punctuate intimacy

2️⃣ Go sober. The goal is intimacy so anything that blocks or falsifies that wont help.

3️⃣ Communication is sexy. Talk to each other about likes and dislikes. Keep communication open during intimacy. Ask each other “How you feeling?” “Is this good?” “Do you like that?”.

4️⃣ Foreplay helps arousal. You’re not a machine. So extended foreplay sessions can help with arousal and getting hard; jerking off, kissing, touching, dirty talk or ass play.

5️⃣ Use lots of lube. Spit isn’t a viable lubricant. Think about safety: condoms PrEP and/or doxyPEP.

6️⃣ Slow entry. Use your tongue and/or fingers to open the area gently. Enter slowly with lots of lube in an easy starting position like the missionary position. Give your partner time to adjust while inside and pay attention to their cues.

7️⃣ Staying hard. It's normal for ebbs and flows - so don't worry if you lose your erection. If you’re experiencing Issues, consider a cock ring. ED drugs like sildenafil and tadalafil should be a last resort and should not be mixed with other drugs or alcohol.

8️⃣ Change tempo and positions. Don’t assume hard & fast hits the spot. Ask your partner what feels good & respond to it.

9️⃣ Don’t be freaked by mess. Keep towels and wet wipes nearby. It’s anal sex; shit happens 💩

🔟 Aftercare is for both. Even if you’re the top, you may feel emotional. Cuddle, connect, talk, laugh or ask how you both feel.